I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
