So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
