My friends, they love my intelligence
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He better not be in your backpack
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
