We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
