my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So vagazzling was a success
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
