He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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