sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
