It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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