I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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