so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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