I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
