Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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