when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i believe in u and ur pee
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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