At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize