so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize