obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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