There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
