IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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