I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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