i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize