so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
