Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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