God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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