how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
