Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
