I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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