I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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