Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
