did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
