I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
