is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize