Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
