Don't you send me to vm
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
