Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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