I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
