I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
