we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
