I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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