my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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