is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
