we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
