well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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