Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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