good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
