last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize