Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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