Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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