I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
