This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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