so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
