Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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