awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
