I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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