I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
